How to Live Your Life to the Fullest

Attending the Kerygma Conference 2013 is my one of the most memorable experience for this year. I attended different sets of classes - health, leadership, and business.

But among the talks and classes, one message sticks into my mind, and I know it will stick to my mind and heart forever. It's a talk of Bo Sanchez about living a great life.

How do you usually spend your day?
What do you think everytime you wake up in the morning?
What things do you consider everytime you make a decision?

Bo Sanchez said "the quality of your life depends on the quality of your decisions."
I totally agree with this. Looking back, every failure and success I had in the past were based on my own decisions.

Sometimes, we fail to acknowledge the most important things in life because we are too focused on not -so- important things. This is the reason why many people today are trying to work too hard that they tend to forget to spend time with their loved ones.

When will these people realized that they have to spend time with their loved ones? Most of the time, when it's too late, when their loved ones are gone already.

The only way to live an awesome life is to think of our death everyday.
Death gives us wisdom.
Death makes us realize the true meaning of life.
Death helps us discern the important from waste.

Here are 5 things that we should consider so we can live life to the fullest.
Note: These are just 5 but there are lots that we can think of!

1. Everything goes back into the box.

 Any earthly treasure that we gathered here on earth - wealth, fame, success etc.. will go back into the box with us when we die. However, there's one thing that never dies even when we die - the love that we shared when we are still alive.

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?"
- Luke 12:20 


2. Honor your dreams.

Listen to your heart and ask God for your purpose. Ask God "Why did You send me in this world?'
Follow God's plans for you for God wants only the best for you.
Life is short and death is certain. Act now to achieve God's dreams for you.

3. Don't waste time in useless conflicts.

No matter what we do - even we do the best things in the world for the benefit of people, we will encounter critics. There will always be people who will not like us and criticize us. These are difficult people in our lives.

However, we can still love them. Yes! You heard it right! We must still love them.
But...love them from a distance.

Don't hate difficult people, love them, but as much as possible we should stay away from them, so we could concentrate on the pursuing God's plans for us.

Life is short to spend time with people who will drain you, control you and manipulate you.

Choose your battles well.


4. Don't work too hard. Always create space for love.

Always spend time with your loved ones.
Date your parents once a week.
Date your kids every weekend.
Treat yourself in a spa.
Have a vacation.

Life is short, always prioritize love above all else.

5. Enjoy the present moment.

Enjoy the life you have right now.
Some people say
"I'll be happy when I get married"
"I'll be happy when I got a Iphone"
"I'll be happy when I reached $100K income"

This is not a good attitude. We should all be grateful for what we have right now, work and pray for the best things that are in store for us.

We are wiser than we think we are. We could make the world a better place if we could just live life to the fullest.



Have a happy life,
Maya

Choose Your Battles Wisely

I've been in a different battles these past few weeks- battles of politics at work, financial battles and even battle in lovelife.. sigh! ( I guess a problem in lovelife is equally problematic as economic crisis.. LOL)

But when I got back to my senses, I realized that I spent a significant amount of time thinking and worrying about these battles - which I discovered are not all important in my life and purpose.

Worrying is indeed a thief. It steals our limited time and energy. Instead of working on something more productive, worrying makes us think of unnecessary things and it makes us expect bad things to happen. It can destroy us.

Life consists of making a decision between making a big deal out of something or realizing it doesn't really matter. In choosing our battles, we should make sure we focus on the important things - spirituality, relationships, serving other people, etc.. depending on what you think is your purpose in your life.

In our office, I'm always accused of being a "spy." My team mates don't like our manager (by the way, I'm working in a BPO where we work as a team) and they also want me to feel what they feel. My manager is into micromanaging, checking every specific detail of our work and most of my team mates don't like that. This is reality- there are some people who don't want to be treated like a child and want to do things their own way. I can understand my team mates.

When they tell a story to me, they noticed that I don't give any added inputs to their sentiments or I'm not telling a story about my personal encounter with my manager. Why? because I decided to do so. First, giving more negative inputs can make the situation worse. Second, it cannot change the situation by the way. I know that it's better to talk to my manager personally about it than talk about it behind his back.

Since then, my team mates began accusing me as a "spy" or even "sipsip." At first, I got irritated by these gossips and I thought of proving myself that they are all wrong. But when I pray to God and got back again to my senses, God told me that I have nothing to prove. I have not done something wrong so I should not take this battle seriously.

It's difficult, but as time passes by, by not thinking of what others would think about me, but by focusing on the truth, I learned to manage my emotions and not to dwell on this battle.

I remember what my mentor Bo Sanchez mentioned in one of the Feast's sessions:

When people criticize you or do not like you,
Most of the time, it's not about you.
It's about them.
So don't let people with problems ruin your day.

Instead of reacting with anger, just be funny and don't take it seriously.

We should all choose our battles.
Make a decision to have an inspiring life.
Have a compassion for ourselves.
Choose to be happy.
Be a blessing to others.

Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go.

We are too big to be bothered by small things.


Have a happy life,
Maya

Are You a Peacemaker?

Just a simple message and quote today from the Bible.
Do you want to be a peacemaker?

Are you easily angered?
Are you ill tempered?
Do you love arguments?

Then time to make a shift from a troublemaker to a peacemaker.

As much as possible, avoid arguments and fights.
Resolve conflicts in a peaceful manner, so you can have  healthy relationships.

"It is one's honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel"

- Proverbs 20:3

Live a happy life,
Maya

How Do You Define Happiness?

Happiness is a state of feeling that everyone wants to achieve. All actions of individuals, regardless of age, sex, wealth, race and status, are towards achieving HAPPINESS. Of course, no one in this world is completely happy. All of us need to go through a lot of pain. However, always remember that our life and happiness do not depend on what happens to us, but what we do to what happens to us.

So what is happiness? Wikipedia defined happiness as " a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."

Famous people also have their own definitions of happiness:

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. - Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness depends upon ourselves. - Aristotle

Happiness does not consist in having what you want, but in wanting what you have.-Confucius

Happiness is the criterion of excellence in the art of living. – Eric Fromm

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing. – George Sheehan

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.- Victor Hugo

Happiness is not a reward – it is a consequence. – Robert Ingersoll

Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. – Ayn Rand

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life. – Burton Hills

I believe all of us have our own definitions of Happiness. However, we should be very careful in making our own definitions. The way we define happiness can actually determine how we conduct our lives and can have implications on how we succeed in life.

For me, true happiness is contentment and gratitude. Happiness begins when you start being grateful with what you have and when you stop complaining with what you don't have.

I've seen a little boy who is so happy while just eating his meal- rice and tuyo. He is filled with joy because he has been eating rice sauced by "toyo"  ( soysauce) for past few days.

Even in the worst situation, we can be very happy.

God's love is sufficient for our happiness.

Can you see?

Can you hear?

Can you smile?

Can you breathe?

Can you walk?

Can you talk?  

If yes, then be happy, be grateful.

Not everyone can see, can hear, can smile, can breathe, can walk. can talk.

When complaining  for some branded rubber shoes that your parents can't afford to buy, think of the people who can't walk and all they want is to have a feet to be able to walk.

Please take time to watch a short video below.

Hope this will make you HAPPY and GRATEFUL.

May you live a happy life,
Maya

Why Should We Love Our Enemies?

Is there anyone in your life who offended you so much?
Is there someone who just irritated you to no end?

Have you even been gossiped about by your officemates?
Have you ever been cheated on by your ex boyfriends?
Have you ever been betrayed by your close friends?

I  believe most of us have people in our lives who cause us anger because of the things they did to us. Anger is not a bad thing. It heals us and and it's a feeling that proves our love to ourselves. However, anger must expire at some point before it transforms into bitterness and poison. If anger did not expire, we will consider the people who hurt us as "enemies."

Jesus said in the bible "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

We might all agree that it is one of the most difficult commandment in this world. It's insane to love our enemies, because we can't find any reason to do so. But Jesus told us this to do so. Why? Because He loves us and He knows that if we do this, we will all be healed.

Why we should love our enemy?
Let me give few reasons.

1. To be truly happy. If we have a grudge in our heart, we will never be happy. If we hate someone, we can be affected every time we see that person we hate. It will affect our mood and even if we don't notice, it affects on how we interact with our peers. Removing the anger in our hearts and loving our enemies is a good thing, it can make us happier.

2. To make a difference in a society and be a good example to others. If others can see how we follow Jesus by loving our enemies, we will become an inspiration to others. We can inspire them to spread love, even if bad things happen to us.

3. Our enemies can become our good friends. If we are able to resolve our conflicts with them, our enemies can be our good friends. Problems and conflicts you encountered with your enemies can be a good instruments which can make you and your enemies best of friends.

4. It develops our character. We would all want to be the best person we could ever become. Loving our enemies defines our character, helps us to overcome feelings of hatred and resentment, and turn these negative feelings into LOVE.

Love your enemies and be happy!

Live a happy life,
Maya

5 Most Effective Ways in Dealing with Your Temper

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  

- James 1:19-20

How do you react in these situations?

You are stuck in long hours of traffic.

A sales crew repeatedly commits mistakes in completing your orders.

Your kid throws tantrums in public places.

Your colleague does not cooperate in your team presentation

Your trainee can’t get your lessons even if you repeatedly teach the concepts many times.

You wait for so long because your friend is late again in your agreed meetup time.


If you easily lose your temper when you are in the situations above, you are an impatient person just like me before.

I was very impatient that I always give instant negative reactions to things that are not happening the way I want them to happen. I found myself easily irritated to things and people that cause delay. But what did I get from being impatient? Negativity. Broken relationships. Wasted time. Regrets for the words being said.

Later on, I realize that impatience is an indicator that I’m doing something I don’t enjoy. But come to think of it, isn’t it almost everyday we encounter things that we should do but we don’t enjoy? Just like the instances I mentioned above, we don’t like these things to happen but these happen.

Why is it so hard for us to develop patience? One reason is that we are so much in a hurry. We are too busy doing things in our lives that we can’t afford to lose and waste time to things we think is not significant in achieving our goals. We want things to happen in an instant. This is the reason of the existence of the fast food chain, instant coffee, instant noodles, instant internet, instant boyfriend or girlfriend (hahaha!). Second reason is because of the belief that it’s fine to express our emotions right away, even if it’s negative, because it is our common nature. But how many times have you hurt someone because hurtful words came out from your mouth because of anger and impatience?

Today, I would like to suggest 5 ways so we can control our temper and develop patience in our lives:

1. Timefirst! This is what we say when we were little kids and playing to temporarily stop the time. When we find ourselves starting to develop a feeling of impatience towards a person or circumstance, we should stop for a while, count 1 to 10 and take a deep breath. Take a break from a person or situation and divert your attention. Most of all, pray and ask for God’s guidance in dealing with the situation.

Focus on the result of you being patient. You drive away negativity, plus you were not able to say hurtful words that might ruin your relationships.

2. We have to trust God that He will take charge of the things that are beyond our control. If things are going out the way they are not supposed to happen, just keep in mind that they are happening for a purpose. There’s a statement from Bo Sanchez, my favorite preacher, that I can’t forget - “Nothing just happens.” Always think that even we are in our toughest times, things are happening for a good purpose. So whenever you are starting to become impatient towards a situation or person, just say to yourself “ I will be patient, because this is happening for a purpose, for my own good.”

3. Find healthier way to express yourself. Once we do steps 1 and 2, we can now express ourselves, not in aggressive, but in an assertive way. Express your needs and emotions to others while maintaining respect and building relationships.

4. Keep in mind the benefits of being patient - you feel happier, you have fantastic relationships, you have better health.

Also, keep in mind the cost of being impatient - stress, failed relationships, depression and sense of unfulfillment.

Make a decision now to be patient or suffer the cost of being impatient.

5. Learn how to forgive. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Even the most trusted person in your life can hurt you. As Bo Sanchez said, you can’t control people’s faults, but you can control your reaction to these faults. We have to learn how to live with the imperfections of people to be truly happy.

Now that I have shared some ways to develop patience, are you ready to take the challenge of applying these when trapped in difficult situations and starting to feel impatient?

You may share your stories to me. Put in the comments below and I’ll be happy to hear from you.


Live a happy life,
Maya

LET FORGIVING BE YOUR HABIT

“Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own” - Chinese Proverbs

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. “ - Matthew 6:14-15

Have you been hurt before?
Have you been cheated on?
Have you been deprived and insulted?
Have you been judged and gossiped about?
Have you been betrayed?

If your answers to the questions above are Yes, here’s my next question-  How is your relationship now with the people who did those bad things to you?

Do you still hate them now or have you forgiven them?

All of us have only two choice when someone hurts us - we can hold on to anger and thoughts of revenge or we forgive and move forward.

Let’s admit it, we are all humans and we commit mistakes. But sometimes, people forget this especially during those times that they are deeply hurt by someone. They find it very difficult to forgive.

We should remember that no matter what we do, no matter what we say, even if our purpose is always good, there will always be people who will criticize us, who will gossip about us, who will betray us, and who will insult us. People are not perfect, just like you and me. Unless we admit these facts, we will never be able to forgive.

We cannot control the ways people act, speak and treat us, but we can always control our attitude towards them. We should make a decision to forgive. Forgiveness is an act we don’t do for other people, it’s for our own benefits. It’s the greatest blessings you can give to yourself.

Don’t get an impression that we should not get angry when other people hurt us. It’s ok to get mad. Being mad is just a proof that we love ourselves. It’s our way of telling people that we do not deserve what they did. It’s our way of healing ourselves. But anger is a feeling that we should not hold too long. Like  Bo Sanchez mentioned in one of his articles, Anger is like a medicine that has an expiration date.

Holding a grudge is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die. Anger must be dealt properly to avoid transforming it to the feeling of bitterness, which is poisonous to human being.

There’s a story of woman who was raped when she was in college. The man who raped her was prosecuted and convicted. But while in prison, the man wrote a letter of forgiveness and asked the policeman in charge to have it sent to the woman. When the woman received and read the letter, she just tore the paper and put it in the trashcan. Years after, the woman was interviewed to feature in a magazine. The woman said that she had been living in pain and depression ever since the incident. While she was married and had a children, there was no joy in her life. She wanted the man to pay for what he had done to her. She wanted the man to experience the worst.

This story is just a proof that  we will never be happy if we won’t be able to forgive those who hurt us. When we hold grudges, we will realize that we don’t help ourselves and it only steals our chance to be happy. Come to think of it, they have hurt us already, can we allow them to hurt us over and over again by repeating what they did to us in our minds? Don’t allow this. Love yourself. Learn how to forgive.

I know it’s not easy. It will take time. Just keep in mind the blessings that we might receive as a result of our forgiving attitude - good health, reduced stress, more friendships, healthier relationships, better self.

Make a decision now to forgive. Love yourself enough not to allow bitterness steal the blessing of happiness you deserve.


Live a happy life,

Maya

DON'T Give SEX a Bad Name

Have you watched these movies?

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS



No Strings Attached



Unofficially Yours



To those who have not watched yet, these movies tackle about a strange relationship - a relationship that is based on SEX. Typically one of the characters in the story is scared of entering a serious relationship and be committed.  This is the reason the characters decided to restrict their relationship to just having sex. Eventually one of the characters would fall in love, and this would be the start of the twist of the story.

A good story as it may sound, but this kind of movies fail to tackle the other side of the story. What if the other won't fall for the other? What if one of the characters got unexpected pregnancy? What would happen if one of them suddenly want other sexual partner?


THE TRUE MEANING OF SEX

Media is now giving a different definition of sex, very far from its true origin, very far from how God created it.

Sex is beautiful.
Sex is wonderful.
Sex is a gift.
Because God created sex.

However, just like any other creation of God, sex, if not used for its pure purpose, it can be a poison.

God loves great sex.But the world has taken it and used for ugly purpose.

Because of the kinds of movies mentioned above, the world might think that the most pleasurable sex are among caused by premarital sex, casual sex and "friends with benefits "sex. Not only that, movies like No Other Woman, The Mistress, A Secret Affair arise causing the world to perceive sex caused by infidelity exciting and thrilling.

But the truth is:
Casual sex is ugly.
Premarital sex is ugly.
Sex caused by infidelity is ugly.
These are ugly sex.

Isn't it premarital sex stealing away the dreams of young people because of unplanned pregnancies and existence of Sexually transmitted disease?

Ugly sex distorts the way people look at themselves and the way they look at other people. It steals away the future of new generation.

Sean Stewart is the youngest father in the world. He is 12 years old and he became the youngest father when his 16 year old girlfriend gave birth to a baby boy.

Babies are angels and they are considered as blessings. But it would be best if they come to people at the right age. A 12 year old boy should be doing something else and not engaging to sex. He is supposed to play, study, building dreams  for his future. He should be having fun with friends, with family, with life. He is too young to face the responsibility of a father. The same goes with his 16 year old girlfriend.

Ugly sex is destroying dreams, marriages, family, and relationships.

Sex is not just a physical exchange of bodily fluid. It is also en exchange of spirits.When you are having sex with someone, you are giving part of your soul and spirit to the other person.

Would you just allow yourself give part of your soul and spirit to a stranger?or to a boyfriend who can leave you at any moment?

Sex is sacred.
Use it for its divine purpose.
Do it for love. 
Not for fun.


Your Online Life Coach,
Maya

JUST A REMINDER FOR EVERYONE

Sometimes, we become so focused on the finish line, that we fail to find joy in the journey

How to Have a Clarity of Vision

“Today, I have given you the choice, between life and death, between blessings and curses”

Deuteronomy 30:19

Here’s what I did so I can have a clearer vision of what I want to happen in my life.

First, I bought a notebook in National Bookstore, then I wrote “MY DREAMS” in the cover page.

Second, I wrote in detail all the things that I want to happen in my life.

Here’s my dreamboard as of the moment, but of course will be subject to change as I discover God’s purpose for my life.

- I wanna be a work from home mom, so I can earn and spend time with my kids at the same time

- I want to have a real estate business, so my parents can have a source of income when I get married (I’m the breadwinner as of the moment)

- I want to have a family that is close to God.

- I want to have a “dream team”, team wherein we help each other to achieve each other’s goals.

- I want to grow old happy with my future husband.

Start with your dreamboard today. It’s fun to see them everyday!

Third, I review them everyday. Reading my dreams everyday moves me towards achieving them, It inspires me to do the best that I can. It has made me focused on the result, and not on the hardships of achieving my dreams.

Fourth, I pray for my dreams. Most people maybe asking “Doesn’t God know what we really want? Why do we have to pray for our dreams?

Of course, God knows our needs and wants. We have to pray because it reminds us of what do we want to happen in our lives. It moves us. It gives us hope. It inspires us.

Fifth, I begin to develop habits of successful people. I do extraordinary things in my job. I take additional responsibility even if I’m not paid for that role. I extend working hours to make sure I won’t be missing anything. I’m not yet a manager, but I work like a manager. I take responsibility like a manager. I smile to people like a manager. I take initiative like a manager. Why? Because the skills and habits that I’m developing is far more important than the salary I receive from the company. I have a vision of having a business someday. I know that the leadership skills and habits I’m learning in my company today will have a use when I already have a business of my own.

My challenge to everybody is to give the best that you can, regardless of your profession. If you are a school janitor, clean the school as if the school is yours. Smile to teachers and students like a school owner. Take responsibility like a school owner. We will never know, one day, you will become a school owner. If you are a saleslady, act as if you are the store manager. Act professional like a manager. Have a discipline like a manager. We will never know, you will become a manager soon.

Hope you learned something from me today.

Your Online LIfe Coach,

Maya

Do You Know What You Really Want?

“Where there is no vision, the people will perish”

- Proverbs 29:18

Eleven years ago, my parents asked me “What course do you want to take up in college?”

I answered “Ummm.. ummm... I don’t know.. maybe Business Management”

Then I took up a four year Business Management course in UP. Just like any other fresh grads, I don’t have any specifics in my mind on what I would like to do after college. I just wanted to have a job as soon as possible so I can help in the finances of our family.

This was my daily routine when I got a job after college:

I wake up in the morning, go to work, do my work, receive the paycheck every 15th and 30th, and spend all of my salaries in stuff I didn’t  know why I bought.

After three years of working, I realized that I had zero savings and I couldn’t imagine where did my hard earned money go.

Why is this so?

Because I had no specific dreams. I have no clear visions. I do not know what I really want to happen in my life.

Why do people have fuzzy dreams?

Just like me before, most people just resort on what they are doing on a routine. Most people just don’t know what they really want in life. They are content with where they are, what they have and what they can do.

Three years after working, I realized that I have to have a dream, to have a vision for my life. My life has to be going somewhere. Then I started to vision of what I want to happen in my life - I want to build a new house for my family, I want to provide more income in our household, I want to give a good quality of life to my family. However due to financial struggles that came to our family, I won’t be able to achieve any of my dreams.

Why?

Because yes, I have a dream, but I never plan on how to achieve these dreams. I know what I want to happen in my life, but I never took any action to achieve my vision.

Why do people have fuzzy dreams?  Just like me, most people have dreams, but it’s not written in detail. Their dreams are fuzzy and unclear. Since dreams were not written in detail, it didn’t command any action on our part. It did not move us towards achieving them.

Due to the financial and family struggles we had encountered, I gave up dreaming. I lose all my energy in dreaming because of false idea that it won’t happen anyway. I got scared of having good visions towards my family because of the disappointments that I would feel again if I fail.

Why do people have fuzzy dreams? Just like me, most people easily give up. They got easily scared when things are not happening they way they wanted it to happen.

One day, while I was browsing the net, I read an article about habits of successful people. It says “Successful people do extraordinary things.” For example, Manny Pacquiao is successful because everytime he has a fight, he begins the day with a long hill run on which only his dog can keep up with him. That is followed by hours of gruelling calisthenics, after which he often repeats his minimum abdominal routine of 2,000 sit ups.

Can you imagine how crazy Manny Pacquiao is?

I realized that I was not achieving what I really want in my life because of these reasons:

1. I am not clear of what I really want

2. I don’t have a guide on how to achieve what I really want in my life

3. I don’t have a habit of successful people.

Can you relate to my story?

In my next post, I will share to you what steps I took that gave directions in achieving my dreams.

Hope you learned something from me today.

Your Online Life Coach,

Maya

Amalayer: Everything Happens for a Reason

Do you know Amalayer?

I guess most of us know her because of the video sensation that were spread in social media networks last year. To those who do not know her yet, she was the girl who became famous due to arguments she had with the lady guard in the LRT station. An anonymous person took a video of the incident and spread it in Facebook and Twitter. The video was quickly spread in such a way that the people named the girl in the video as "Amalayer" and this term became so popular across social media.

To those who were not able to see the video yet, here it is:




But, but, but...

That was just part of the story. Most of us didn't really know what happened before this incident. Nevertheless, many has reacted so violently about the girl's attitude in the video, and it caused her so much harm and depression.

Few days ago, one of my friends in Facebook posted the video of "Amalayer" taken from Club 700 Asia. I was curious, then I watched it. Let me share this to you now:




I'm inspired on how the incident actually had to happen so she can be closer to God. I was really amazed on how God can use the most difficult situation to teach us the most important lessons of victory.

"All things work together for good to them that love the lord, to them who are called according to God's purpose"

- Romans 8:28


Your Online Life Coach,
Maya

What Are You Focusing On?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7236858@N07/2719606245

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything what we think we become.”

- Siddharta Gautama Buddha

Let me tell you a story.

There’s this girl who was really excellent in one thing - COMPLAINING.

She’s rarely seen as happy, and when it happens, it would only last for a maximum of 10 minutes. She never gets content even though she’s always getting what she wants. She always sees the bad in every person. She’s an ultimate “WORRY-ER” because she doesn't trust people. She always says negative things even in the most positive that’s happening to her life.

She is very CRITICAL.

She is very NEGATIVE.

One day, as she browsing the net, she got the time to listen to a talk about “THOUGHTS.”

The talk was about how thoughts create people’s reality.

As she reflected, she realized the reason why she became negative and she remembered the days how she was  totally transforming to a “CRITICAL MONSTER.”

Yes, she was not like this before. She used to be a happy person. She used to be a content individual. She used to be someone whom everybody loves.

Now, maybe you’re curious, what happened? Why does she become so critical and negative?

Answer: Because she let herself focus on the negative ideas and thoughts the environment is dumping into her mind.

What happens to people who always focus on negativity?

A typical day of a negative person (like the girl in the story) is like this:

He wakes up in the morning, feeling sluggish, thinking how difficult a day would be. He rides to work via MRT, he sees the crowd and he complain because of mixed hot temperature and lack of discipline of passengers. When he arrives at work and sees how many tasks are assigned to him, he will complain. He eats at restaurant for lunch and he complains the service crew to his manager just because the crew just gave one extra ketchup for his french fries. He gets a raise in salary but he still complains because the raise is not that high.

Why do I know these?

Because I was a negative person.

The girl in the story is me.

I tell you, I was very pathetic. I felt so miserable during these times of negativity. The more I think of things as problems, rather than as blessings, the more problems I create.

First, I lose a lot of friends because of negativity. Of course, who would want to be with so critical and negative like me? Because negativity is contagious, most of my friends choose to stay away from me.

Second, because I feel sad and miserable everyday, I often get sick. I felt the most depressing moment of my life - sick and without friends. Poor Maya!

Third, I felt like I was a failure in every aspects - in my job, in my business, in my finances, in my relationships.

How I changed my focus

Changing my negativity attitude is not an overnight process for me. It was not easy, but it wasn’t that very difficult either. The key is FOCUS - I focused on the positive effects if I changed my thinking and actions - excellent relationships, promotions in jobs, success in businesses and closer relationship to God.

These are the baby steps I took so I can transform my focus on God’s overflowing blessings:

• I changed my thoughts. Everytime I wake up in the morning, I don’t entertain the difficult situations that might happened during the day. I pray first, thanking God that He has given me another day to be with my loved ones, to express my love to them, and to be a blessing to them. I envision a day full of blessings. I know that I will learn a lesson in every moment that will happen during the day (even if it’s good or bad). I will say to myself “Whatever will happen, whether it’s good or bad,I know that it’s gonna happen for my own good, because God knows what’s good for me.”

• I changed my habits. I was addicted to TV specifically to telenovelas before. I spent most of my spare time watching TV. But I realized that I got most of my negative ideas from watching these telenovelas. I’m not saying all TV shows and telenovelas drive negativity, of course, there are also good ones. But since I did not discern what to watch, that is the consequence.

I reprimand myself from watching TVs, and I began to spend my spare time in reading books, especially self help, development and financial books. The effect was magnificent. It diverted my energy and focus on what’s really important in life - relationships, health, and finances. I just imagined how much time I’ve wasted from thinking things that were not really significant in living a good life.

• I selected carefully the people to be with. I admit it, there are people who will criticize and condemn you, and there are people who will inspire you. I focus more on the people who constantly amaze and inspire me. I stay away from difficult people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad at them nor I condemn them. I just limit the time spending time with them and I use most of my time spending with wonderful people.

• I got a vision. I began to write dreams for myself - on how to be a blessing to the people around me - to my family, to my colleagues, to the Christian community, to the society. I wrote my dreams in a notebook and I read them everyday. So when the day comes that laziness and negativity visit my mind, I would just read on my dreams so my focus would turn to these amazing dreams.

Our focus determines our success in life. Our focus creates our reality.

What you focus on flourishes.

Let’s all focus on God’s blessings!

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

- Philippians 4:8

Your Online Life Coach,

Maya