Is there anyone in your life who offended you so much?
Is there someone who just irritated you to no end?
Have you even been gossiped about by your officemates?
Have you ever been cheated on by your ex boyfriends?
Have you ever been betrayed by your close friends?
I believe most of us have people in our lives who cause us anger because of the things they did to us. Anger is not a bad thing. It heals us and and it's a feeling that proves our love to ourselves. However, anger must expire at some point before it transforms into bitterness and poison. If anger did not expire, we will consider the people who hurt us as "enemies."
Jesus said in the bible "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
We might all agree that it is one of the most difficult commandment in this world. It's insane to love our enemies, because we can't find any reason to do so. But Jesus told us this to do so. Why? Because He loves us and He knows that if we do this, we will all be healed.
Why we should love our enemy?
Let me give few reasons.
1. To be truly happy. If we have a grudge in our heart, we will never be happy. If we hate someone, we can be affected every time we see that person we hate. It will affect our mood and even if we don't notice, it affects on how we interact with our peers. Removing the anger in our hearts and loving our enemies is a good thing, it can make us happier.
2. To make a difference in a society and be a good example to others. If others can see how we follow Jesus by loving our enemies, we will become an inspiration to others. We can inspire them to spread love, even if bad things happen to us.
3. Our enemies can become our good friends. If we are able to resolve our conflicts with them, our enemies can be our good friends. Problems and conflicts you encountered with your enemies can be a good instruments which can make you and your enemies best of friends.
4. It develops our character. We would all want to be the best person we could ever become. Loving our enemies defines our character, helps us to overcome feelings of hatred and resentment, and turn these negative feelings into LOVE.
Love your enemies and be happy!
Live a happy life,
Maya
Monday, September 16, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
5 Most Effective Ways in Dealing with Your Temper
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
- James 1:19-20
How do you react in these situations?
You are stuck in long hours of traffic.
A sales crew repeatedly commits mistakes in completing your orders.
Your kid throws tantrums in public places.
Your colleague does not cooperate in your team presentation
Your trainee can’t get your lessons even if you repeatedly teach the concepts many times.
You wait for so long because your friend is late again in your agreed meetup time.
If you easily lose your temper when you are in the situations above, you are an impatient person just like me before.
I was very impatient that I always give instant negative reactions to things that are not happening the way I want them to happen. I found myself easily irritated to things and people that cause delay. But what did I get from being impatient? Negativity. Broken relationships. Wasted time. Regrets for the words being said.
Later on, I realize that impatience is an indicator that I’m doing something I don’t enjoy. But come to think of it, isn’t it almost everyday we encounter things that we should do but we don’t enjoy? Just like the instances I mentioned above, we don’t like these things to happen but these happen.
Why is it so hard for us to develop patience? One reason is that we are so much in a hurry. We are too busy doing things in our lives that we can’t afford to lose and waste time to things we think is not significant in achieving our goals. We want things to happen in an instant. This is the reason of the existence of the fast food chain, instant coffee, instant noodles, instant internet, instant boyfriend or girlfriend (hahaha!). Second reason is because of the belief that it’s fine to express our emotions right away, even if it’s negative, because it is our common nature. But how many times have you hurt someone because hurtful words came out from your mouth because of anger and impatience?
Today, I would like to suggest 5 ways so we can control our temper and develop patience in our lives:
1. Timefirst! This is what we say when we were little kids and playing to temporarily stop the time. When we find ourselves starting to develop a feeling of impatience towards a person or circumstance, we should stop for a while, count 1 to 10 and take a deep breath. Take a break from a person or situation and divert your attention. Most of all, pray and ask for God’s guidance in dealing with the situation.
Focus on the result of you being patient. You drive away negativity, plus you were not able to say hurtful words that might ruin your relationships.
2. We have to trust God that He will take charge of the things that are beyond our control. If things are going out the way they are not supposed to happen, just keep in mind that they are happening for a purpose. There’s a statement from Bo Sanchez, my favorite preacher, that I can’t forget - “Nothing just happens.” Always think that even we are in our toughest times, things are happening for a good purpose. So whenever you are starting to become impatient towards a situation or person, just say to yourself “ I will be patient, because this is happening for a purpose, for my own good.”
3. Find healthier way to express yourself. Once we do steps 1 and 2, we can now express ourselves, not in aggressive, but in an assertive way. Express your needs and emotions to others while maintaining respect and building relationships.
4. Keep in mind the benefits of being patient - you feel happier, you have fantastic relationships, you have better health.
Also, keep in mind the cost of being impatient - stress, failed relationships, depression and sense of unfulfillment.
Make a decision now to be patient or suffer the cost of being impatient.
5. Learn how to forgive. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Even the most trusted person in your life can hurt you. As Bo Sanchez said, you can’t control people’s faults, but you can control your reaction to these faults. We have to learn how to live with the imperfections of people to be truly happy.
Now that I have shared some ways to develop patience, are you ready to take the challenge of applying these when trapped in difficult situations and starting to feel impatient?
You may share your stories to me. Put in the comments below and I’ll be happy to hear from you.
Live a happy life,
Maya
You are stuck in long hours of traffic.
A sales crew repeatedly commits mistakes in completing your orders.
Your kid throws tantrums in public places.
Your colleague does not cooperate in your team presentation
Your trainee can’t get your lessons even if you repeatedly teach the concepts many times.
You wait for so long because your friend is late again in your agreed meetup time.
If you easily lose your temper when you are in the situations above, you are an impatient person just like me before.
I was very impatient that I always give instant negative reactions to things that are not happening the way I want them to happen. I found myself easily irritated to things and people that cause delay. But what did I get from being impatient? Negativity. Broken relationships. Wasted time. Regrets for the words being said.
Later on, I realize that impatience is an indicator that I’m doing something I don’t enjoy. But come to think of it, isn’t it almost everyday we encounter things that we should do but we don’t enjoy? Just like the instances I mentioned above, we don’t like these things to happen but these happen.
Why is it so hard for us to develop patience? One reason is that we are so much in a hurry. We are too busy doing things in our lives that we can’t afford to lose and waste time to things we think is not significant in achieving our goals. We want things to happen in an instant. This is the reason of the existence of the fast food chain, instant coffee, instant noodles, instant internet, instant boyfriend or girlfriend (hahaha!). Second reason is because of the belief that it’s fine to express our emotions right away, even if it’s negative, because it is our common nature. But how many times have you hurt someone because hurtful words came out from your mouth because of anger and impatience?
Today, I would like to suggest 5 ways so we can control our temper and develop patience in our lives:
1. Timefirst! This is what we say when we were little kids and playing to temporarily stop the time. When we find ourselves starting to develop a feeling of impatience towards a person or circumstance, we should stop for a while, count 1 to 10 and take a deep breath. Take a break from a person or situation and divert your attention. Most of all, pray and ask for God’s guidance in dealing with the situation.
Focus on the result of you being patient. You drive away negativity, plus you were not able to say hurtful words that might ruin your relationships.
2. We have to trust God that He will take charge of the things that are beyond our control. If things are going out the way they are not supposed to happen, just keep in mind that they are happening for a purpose. There’s a statement from Bo Sanchez, my favorite preacher, that I can’t forget - “Nothing just happens.” Always think that even we are in our toughest times, things are happening for a good purpose. So whenever you are starting to become impatient towards a situation or person, just say to yourself “ I will be patient, because this is happening for a purpose, for my own good.”
3. Find healthier way to express yourself. Once we do steps 1 and 2, we can now express ourselves, not in aggressive, but in an assertive way. Express your needs and emotions to others while maintaining respect and building relationships.
4. Keep in mind the benefits of being patient - you feel happier, you have fantastic relationships, you have better health.
Also, keep in mind the cost of being impatient - stress, failed relationships, depression and sense of unfulfillment.
Make a decision now to be patient or suffer the cost of being impatient.
5. Learn how to forgive. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Even the most trusted person in your life can hurt you. As Bo Sanchez said, you can’t control people’s faults, but you can control your reaction to these faults. We have to learn how to live with the imperfections of people to be truly happy.
Now that I have shared some ways to develop patience, are you ready to take the challenge of applying these when trapped in difficult situations and starting to feel impatient?
You may share your stories to me. Put in the comments below and I’ll be happy to hear from you.
Live a happy life,
Maya
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